


Heaven or Hell

by clearpurity2



Category: Senki Zesshou Symphogear
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-25
Updated: 2019-07-25
Packaged: 2020-07-19 21:41:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19980949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clearpurity2/pseuds/clearpurity2
Summary: "I’ve got the same deep wounds as you. My love can double as a weapon too.Say that you trust it and I’ll set it free. Turn it back on me."A small (hypothetical) fic that takes place after XV ep. 3.





	Heaven or Hell

**Author's Note:**

> With the season currently airing, it's hard to suggest anything happening in the future but with everything somewhat hinting to Miku and her emotions (her bio specifically), I felt inspired to write something about it. Especially after the third episode and the comment she made, haha.  
> I have a lot of feelings that I can't explain so in general, I hope it's enjoyable (and maybe something else) in some shape or form!
> 
> Title is based off of the song "Heaven or Hell" by Digital Daggers.  
> The lyrics possibly help convey how I felt when writing this.

The warmth of the sun cascaded on her back, something she was accustomed to. In a way, it was comforting, filling her body with warmth.  
On the other it was blinding and burning, not only on her skin but deep within her body.

Things have changed a lot over the years, that much was true. And perhaps it was for the better; they’ve made new friends and grew a lot as people. Maybe even got closer? And yet…

Miku glanced at the books, staring at nothing in particular. The library was quiet, only filled with the occasional cough and the constant shuffling of papers and books closing. How many times has she stood in this exact same spot?

Her eyes glanced over towards the window, nearly believing that same hospital room would be right in her field of vision. But instead, she was met with afternoon traffic. Her eyes traveled back towards the bookshelf, her index finger poking each spine. Once she found what she was looking for, her finger stopped, almost frozen in place.

_“Have to go see Tsubasa-san and Maria-san…”  
Hibiki spoke, finally killing the awkward silence. It seemed to last for hours but it couldn’t have been more than 20 seconds. She moved away from the window while Miku kept her body huddled up on the couch._

_As she continued, Miku stared at the blank TV, only having Hibiki’s shuffling as her background noise._

_“You didn’t want to come along?” Hibiki asked, giving Miku a glance as she stood in front of her._  
_“They’d love to see you too.”_  
_Miku was silent before shaking her head.  
“Don’t worry, I have something else to do. Give them my regards, okay?”_

__

_The silence dragged on once again. Miku assumed Hibiki wanted to say something but chose against it. Instead, she nodded with a smile.  
“Alright, I will. I’ll be back soon, don’t worry. You be safe too, okay?”_

_Miku gave her a smile back.  
“Yes, of course.”_

Miku shook her head.  
“This is stupid…”  
She backed away from the bookshelf, ignoring the title that continued to haunt her. It was more frustrating than anything but more so at herself.

_“What if I was being a burden on someone else?”_

Her heart wouldn’t stop pounding against her chest. No one would play the blame game with her, surely they wouldn’t. Yet her mind continued to play tag with itself.  
‘I want to be honest…yet I can’t bring myself to do it. I’d only add onto that burden…and that’s not what I want.’

How do you communicate without worrying someone? How do you bring up a topic that’s plagued you for years, having a desperate need to express it yet…can’t?

_“Problems that persisted for years suddenly won’t go away…”_

Miku bit the inside of her cheek, pushing her hand against the spine of the book again, almost as if touching it could help her now. Only did she stay that way for a few more seconds before backing away.  
“…what I do…isn’t enough.”

Finally, she left the aisle.

———

Hibiki slung her bag over her shoulder, sighing as she arrived back at the dorm.  
“I’m baaack~!”

She was met with silence.  
“Eh? Miku?”  
Hibiki glanced around, not seeing Miku anywhere. Was she still running her errand? It was pretty late, she didn’t expect Miku to still be out. With just her here, the dorm felt more spacious than normal.

Setting her bag down, the teenager sat by the window again, watching the sun slowly beginning its descent. Tsubasa seemed…off. Everyone could tell and no one would blame her. After everything that’s happened, they understood why.

“Songs couldn’t save anyone…”  
Hibiki placed her hand over her heart. There was a sense of realism in his words, unfortunately. There’s no way they could save everyone, but Hibiki knew she wouldn’t be here without them, even more so without Tsubasa’s.

Hibiki wanted to talk to her but…maybe that wouldn’t be a good idea. The concert was…terrible to say the least. What in the world could she say? There’s not much to offer in terms of comfort. Surely Maria would be a better choice but…she had to have been bothered just as bad. She was there, seeing it first hand.  
If they were there attending, what would have happened? Hibiki could only imagine the chaos. Her mind flashed to the Zwei Wing concert; the panic, urgency and pain…

“…Miku would have experienced that.”  
If they made it, anyway. She was glad that was avoided. It would have been different simply because she’d be there and able to protect her but…what if she couldn’t? Hibiki immediately stood to her feet.

“I must be hungry!”  
She announced to no one but herself before jogging into the kitchen. If she made herself something, she could do the same for Miku. It wouldn’t be cooked since…she still wasn’t all that great at it but something small.  
“I’m sure Miku will appreciate it, hehe. Just a small token of gratitude.”

But as she did so, Hibiki still felt her mind wandering.  
These new enemies, what they possibly wanted, the concert, Tsubasa…and there was something else gnawing at her mind.

_“I’m sorry, after all you’ve done, we still can’t figure this all out.”  
Her mother placed a hand on Hibiki’s face, her attempt at reassurance._

_“It’s harder than we figured. I knew this much when I walked up to the door with him.”  
Hibiki gave her a small smile, choosing to pat her hand in return._

_“There’s nothing wrong with trying, right? I’m not going to force you…after all, there’s things between you two that I can’t imagine. I’m sure that’s hard to express. It’s…hard to express myself too.”_

_This whole situation, up before this point, only left her feeling…conflicted. Hibiki wasn’t sure how all this would work out. In fact, it may not work out at all. And if that’s the conclusion it came to then…she’d have to learn to move on._  
_“I love all of you…” Hibiki mumbled.  
“Don’t do anything for me, I’d rather you do it for yourself.”_

_Her mother was silent. It took a few seconds before she wrapped her arms around Hibiki, the teenager quickly returning the gesture.  
“You’ve grown so much…”_

“Have I really…?”  
Hibiki whispered to herself. But that wasn’t eating away at her thoughts. At least…not completely. It wasn’t overwhelming.

_“What if I was being a burden on someone else?”_

It was a harmless question in hindsight but thinking back on it, Hibiki still didn’t know what she’d do or say. What made her ask that question? Was she thinking about the time they fought? They already established they saved each other during that but did it still cross her mind? Maybe she could reassure her about it all.

Hibiki wouldn’t know the main context of that question. Who would she be a bother to?  
Miku has always been helpful, someone she was able to rely on and the main reason she’s gotten this far. Hibiki found it hard to think Miku would ever bother someone, let alone make trouble for them.

Before long, a scream left her mouth, the sound and smell of the bread burning startling her.  
“Ah, no no! Don’t do that, I’m paying attention I swear!”

She could eat the burnt one if it came down to it. Letting out a shaky chuckle, Hibiki began to clean up her mess.  
“She was just messing with me, aha…I’m taking it too seriously, just like she said.”

“…”  
Miku gripped her bag strap tightly, the cloth making an imprint in her skin.

_‘Don’t fly too close to the sun. It’s alluring with its warmth and brightness. But it casts shadows, ones large enough to envelop you. To swallow you whole. The shadows overwhelm me, my entire body drifting further and further away._

_This is what I was afraid of. I want the light, I don’t want to dim or smother it. But the closer I get to it, the more I see the flames flicker. It tickles my fingertips as I play dangerous around it. Soothing yet dangerous. Perhaps I’m looking at it the wrong way…’_

Hibiki walked out of the kitchen, stopping once she took note of Miku standing in the doorway.

“…?”  
“I’m home.”  
“Ah, welcome back!” Hibiki chuckled. “Role reversal, huh?”  
Miku gave her a small smile. “First time for everything.”

“You’re right! Because…”  
Hibiki grinned, holding out a plate of food to her.  
“…made us something!”

Miku’s smile was unchanging.  
“Really? Thank you. I’ll eat it as soon as I get changed.”

Hibiki watched her leave and walk into the bathroom. The silence lingered, her eyes soon going back to the window.  
The sun was gone.

“It’s getting dark…”

Night was part of life, and it was ending another day filled with more and more questions. Will they be given more the next day? How much longer will it last?

“Hibiki!" Miku called as she stuck her head out of the bathroom. "I’m already done, better hurry if you want me to eat it!”  
“A-Ah, sorry!”

The teenager quickly picked up the plate and went to the table, choosing to push those worries even further in the back of her mind.


End file.
